Different Ways to Spoil a Day

My dearest Virgi…

Have you ever tried to delve deep to find reasons behind seeing a perfect day of yours turning completely damned? Here is one example which can be of quick reference for those who want some tips to spoil a calm and composed day of others or of theirs.

I can’t claim to be a [1]Dale Carnegie for giving this small piece of information anyway.

                                                                Episode 1

The day was cheerful with a mindful of plans for the future as it was my first visit to my hometown  before shifting to a rented apartment. I was informed suddenly that Uno found a ‘guy’ for his 'affectionate sister'!! Mamma was overjoyed and there was an air of excitement around her after she got his phone call from the national capital.

I was awestruck! Words blocked halfway through as there was lot of traffic jam around. Then a sudden outburst of protest. Next came the breaking news… The ‘boy’s’ family was going to drop in as it was the procedure to examine the prospective ‘girl’ as the first step in the selection process.

The breaking news which was released by the Delhi bureau created lot of furor here in the extreme south and the police used tear gas to disperse the protesters?!!

                                                                  Episode 2

Finally they came in with an array of questions to be answered and to see through. 

The ladies took measurement and started to calculate. I fixed a cheerful smile to cover my uneasiness. My regularities and irregularities were explained and finally lost the thought to look around to see the real ‘guy’. The only job which I had to do. 

The two active 'girls'  gave self introduction- one the guy's ‘mother’ and the other his younger brother’s wife- and helped me to find the ‘guy’ finally. I was formally introduced to the guy. It would be better to say that I was walking on the ramp with audience around with a new style to exhibit.

He seemed shy even to give me a direct look.  I could see only  a bit of his head. No... no... it was not with both hands but was trying to cover with one and the face was half seen.  It reminded me of the heroines of 19th century [2]Victorian novels. I showed my teeth in response. He was searching for words and could not find any and was 'stomach full' and  on the verge to get indigestion soon due to ‘over eating’.

I demanded time to go through his profile seriously before getting back to them. My solo performance was applauded I guess. While retreating to their vehicle ‘which the guy drove and came’ (the boy’s mother was very specific to mention this), I saw a much excited smiling face turning back and playing hide and seek. Oh! So I was supposed to involve in this game too, I felt sorry actually as I was not capable of these performances.

                                                                     Episode 3

Don’t think everything was over and I regained my spirits soon. I was down with [3]MOF, amnesia or dyslexia or [4]delirium? I was not sure.  I was seriously intrigued and subjected to get an immediate reaction, where the  result was expected to be strictly positive. 

Mamma claimed the coyness and lack of perspective of the guy could be used to the girl’s favor. 

When the result was announced negative even after so many tests and retests, the whole calmness turned topsy turvy.

I was bitten severely by severe strokes from inside and outside. A feed back was required to send to the Delhi headquarters immediately. As Mamma was informed that this would turn to be a perfect match for her daughter, she was using and misusing her power over me to accept. A memo was faxed to me from the head quarters warning not to spoil a ‘very serious’ sibling blood relation by my lack of insight and my childishness.

                                                              Retrospection

Virgi... What is special in 'just being a man’? I wondered. Being just a man facilitates him to have another world war or to steal someone’s property claiming that he is a man and a dictator or a thief? I have never read or heard any woman directly involved or became reason for any world war or a robbery or any heinous crime.

Who gave men the authority to decide a woman’s life? Like what you did when you surrendered to a man just to save your family's financial burden. And that ‘guardian angel’ could never be able to  turn to be your soul mate but only the father of your child! What could be that which make you a contented person, I know. But still i ask, leaving all your self-centric eccentricities, why couldn't you just satisfy your 'man' who wants only a woman for his life?

Once a friend of mine proudly said that he fed and sheltered a woman i.e., his wife so that she could give him comforts and begets his children and also do all household works. All the reverence for him had melted away from that moment and was replaced with ‘contempt of court’. This poor friend is now busy after fathering two kids, feeding the entire family. I did not feel sorry to ‘quit’ the relationship with him. He can only be a 'man' not a companion or friend was made clear. I might be arrogant or immature in my decision(as per the general perception) to give up that relation.

Ok. Leave all those stories and come to the real matter. So again I was put to severe pressure to find only good qualities in men. I was advised to accept this particular guy who is our topic of gossip who gave me ‘eloquent glances’ while crossing the doorstep and went with expectation to settle down leaving his fifteen years of job abroad, with the girl he marries. I was suggested this one, as the best I could expect as he was looking ‘fair’, younger to his age and with no conditions even about his own life itself and moreover I crossed the age boundary for that  sacred work.

Weeks passed and month too with some continuous ‘oxidative-coupling reactions’ which increased the pressure inside and resulted in a severe blast in the ‘furnace’. Half of my energy was wasted and I started developing a perpetual emptiness.

                                                                     Climax

The whole scenario came to a standstill with a massive withdrawal of output from Uno and his family. The press release from the Delhi headquarters claimed  failure of the process was due to my lack of foresight and silly attitude . This current state of my life being ‘unmarried’ was explained clearly by Mrs. Uno as 'useless and a sign of arrogance' and also against the 'social rule of law'.

Mamma was deeply disheartened by my lack of humane interest for her and for the whole lot of well wishers outside. I could not be successful without having a man. My life would be doomed! 

Heard a hell lot of explanations.

                                                                  No Interval

When every profile reaches regional center I would be standing on one leg claiming their lives! Likewise this carnival continued for few more months bringing turmoil which extended till another was received.  I was expected to see all and then? I don't know. It was not made clear, when it was handed over. Am I supposed to tell to make inquiry as I liked this one, and later would i be to waiting for that ‘guy’ until he responds (if)positively? 

Ok or I should make calls and confirm that he had the power of articulation and what else I should do? I might get few mails calling me ‘dear’, ‘my dear’ and describing with a lot of adjectives ‘beautiful’, ‘smart’ etc etc. and explaining their talents and interest. Recently one expressed his closeness calling me as his ‘dear’, ‘beloved’ and was seriously waiting to take me to England if I say a mere “yes”. Seeing his over excitement I lost all interest even to think about England. These things only distract my mindset and extracting my peace.

Years have gone by and will be going and still I need to be ready to be chosen and be always remain like the ‘display’ material in the shops with variety costumes so that anyone can come and verify and ‘purchase’ or reject?

SO finally I said a blind ‘no’ to seeing anymore ‘eligible men’ with their description about their eagerness to verify me. 

                                                              The End

My future was in cloud nine because I had stopped living for the future. Great work to be thanked for.

Is it worth living for a future which is yet to be revealed to us? How to find the solemnity that lies hidden? The meaning of ‘life’ is found nowhere in the dictionary. No literature could be able to define it unless someone quote it down after sailing through it.  Even I am not aware if I have the power for further protest and actions and reactions to carry forward.

                                                                

Like you I may explore and see the meaning of what ‘life’ actually is by attending Bhajans, reading Bhagavat Gita and other texts or becoming an active participant of the Hare Rama Hare Krishna, in the next part of my life. Till then I need to rejuvenate myself by dipping in the sacred ‘fool’s paradise’ to realize the necessity for being a part of it. Waiting for your reaction. 

My regards and love

Yours Explo.

      Appendix

[5]Coward thy name is man! This is not to insult thy ego but to make your conscience feel uneasy if you have one. What are you afraid of? The woman with a mind, the one who repeatedly asked you questions? You don’t have the courage to withstand her presence and said she might feel bad if you remained silent? You never had the courage to accept the troubles around if you accept her and so said she was misleading you with her emotions? You wanted her to fill the gaps in your existence and said you never meant to hurt her through the closeness you showed, when she started feeling emotionally attached. Finally you saved your face by claiming her as your elder sister (because you are few years younger)?

You were made to believe that you need to be the head of the family and everyone should accept you only because you are a man? The mother, wife and all grandparents and your children accepted your superiority and all others were [6]‘mad woman in the attic’ only because they had their voices and also raised it for some or the other reasons?

Know the soul of a woman and then judge her. Before that don’t lose her, blaming that she has a ‘voice’ which is heard and not suppressed.

So I lost all prospective guys and eligible men and now much relaxed.

If anyone of my friends  can suggest various ways of losing a ‘man’, we can publish an un abridged version for the betterment of all the helpless souls who are crying for identity (either through a man or without a man) instead of wasting their time watching a movie ‘[7]how to lose a guy in ten days”?.

---

[1] An American writer and lecturer (1888-1955) and developer of famous courses for self improvement, public speaking and interpersonal skills. Authored many books including “How to make friends and influence people?”, “How to stop worrying and start thinking?”

[2] Pious, dutiful, obedient with no freedom of thought and movement

[3] multiple organ failure

[4] Latin word for madness

[5] As opposed to Shakespeare’s “frailty thy name is woman” from his famous Hamlet
[6] A character of the novel Jane Eyre whose is known with that name because of her unnatural behaviour

[7] A romantic comedy movie by  Donald Petrie

Three Months Notice!!!

                                   

 That’s the end of my productive days in that atmosphere of “future aspirants”. 

Don’t think that it is because my boss has asked me to “take rest permanently” when I asked for a prior intimation of my summer vacation or because I was upset on my inability for “cooking” up. Yes cooking delicious cuisines is something which is favorite to me but I am sorry that is not my topic of discussion with you now.  I am not wasting your time talking about my talents in the kitchen but of something spicy!!

The talents of those who were with me all these years from the beginning of my career and with whose influence I am ‘transformed’ now.

I had the golden opportunity to witness the 'special skill' of my dear colleagues especially my nearest colleague who feels herself ‘as old as an Egyptian mummy’ (so I take this opportunity to call her by the same name with your permission). You have to keep in mind that all her ‘acting talents brought her ‘expected’ or ‘unexpected’ success (I don’t know which is more apt). I feel so humble to remember her at this moment as she was such a talented professional and wish I could at least possess one percent of her skills!

My passionate teaching profession seemed to have tasted a bitter gourd at this moment. I feel disappointed for wasting my money buying Kerala chips whenever I go for a leave, or birthday cards or flowers to become a good shepherd, but what I got was only his warnings in the end!! The routine exercise failed miserably and helped only to make my boss more negligent to my dedication. I turned weak physically and mentally due to his frequent attacks.

I never searched for that brand of perfume mummy used to apply or those transparent yellow blouses which she wore when she went to meet him. I never had enough secretion in my tear glands to waste also [i feel already wasted much]. Else I would have received all special benefits like extra increments and permission to use the a/c seminar hall and chances for visiting the University for the much valued ‘Valuation’!!

You know how to expose the beautiful thirty two white buds inside your mouth to bring to the notice of all the dull mouthed dumb heads around you? That too not for winning a smiling contest, but to give the impression to others that you love them extremely and you are the most loyal friend.

Only if we develop to balance both instincts -real and artificial- we can deal with two distinct varieties of people. Yes, I mean the sleep walkers and those who lost sleep forever!!

You know, finally I learned that, what matters most is not what I have learned through books all these years, but what I forgot to notice (Unfortunately books didn’t give lessons to ‘act’ but only to ‘react’). Hey world has changed overnight and I could not catch up to that development too!! Yes it must be true I was dreaming to fly high in the upper layers of acceptance and finally ended up floating in the deep sea with only broken wings.

Last ten years I have been cracking the hard nut which never was broken.

 Don’t think teaching was a past time for me. None of the guru’s I had seen working with me were the ‘masters’ of knowledge but only of something else.  Staff rooms were the ‘sacred storehouses’ of grudge and greed and gossips. The time was never sufficient for ‘us’ to complete cross-checking of the whereabouts of our disciples and their link-ups and downs.

Who would be able to understand the meaning of silence I conveyed during this entire mess! 

Once in the beginning of my career I got an advice from one of my previous bosses that only a happy mind can work with complete dedication. I don’t know if he had indirectly hinted me or that was a general suggestion. Anyway I felt sorry for not being able to keep myself mentally fit during those days. He wanted me to behave in a way which gave no room for speculations to anyone when I was given any special assignments like writing a news report or writing a caption which according to him was a talent I possessed!! Anyway I got a success mantra from that experience. But unfortunately there too I had failed miserably. Neither I succeeded to enter in their good books nor did it help me to ease the tension between me and my fellow mates.  Manipulating works went well there and their skills got acclaim with my change of workplace.

Being, perfect, hardworking and non bothering attitude will gain you only ‘masters’ and I can thus proudly say I am so rich with many now. 

So get proper training in some extra talents. Acting is a wonderful talent. Acting skill will help you sometimes to gain an increment, a promotion and above all life-long companions and thus permanent happiness and of course you will have a better life and a much better HALF. Acting makes you to appear as a sincere and dutiful and pleasant employee, and also you can come up as a worthy individual! You need not waste your time in telling and re-telling the truths.

Next I want you to be aware of the necessity of developing an immune system. Don’t mistake me I am not endorsing any brand of medicine. Immunity for the mind is what I meant. It is to be developed in an atmosphere of in humanness  You need to have an active defense mechanism to resist the unexpected attacks of people who never tried to be humane and human too.

 Follow the ‘latest trend’. PRETEND!

 Follow Gandhi’s non violence. Appear calm. Emotionless.

Don’t try to be a ‘jihadi’ which can only get you a change of profile or work place not an olive branch, of course. 

You have to keep safely inside, the Buddhas, Vivekanandas, mother Theresas, or the ‘child-is the father of man’ Wordsworthian dilemmas without bringing into anybody’s notice, as saints and spirituality is needed only in shrines and in ashrams not in our modern-day work place.

So for curing the damage created to my soul by the activisms outside I decided to take rest for a while and thus given three months notice. Yes I am indirectly following the advice of my boss for my well being.

 No one can stop the crippled system of life being artificial.  So I am rigorously preparing to come back to the war-front with a safety mask after tuning my acting skills.